from the library

i've been hanging out in the calvin library all day and am badly in need of a study break. i can only spend so long trying to understand fluid and electrolyte balance before i need a break. it's something i've never understood very well, so studying it is an especially hard (and essential!) task.

i wonder how many hours i have spent in this library. probably not as many as i should have (otherwise i might have a better understanding of fluids and electrolytes)...

today i realized that coming to the library is a bit like going back in time for me. i almost forget that i'm not a student anymore. that i no longer live on the mosaic floor, or at koinonia, or peniel. i have fleeting thoughts of "i should probably head to class soon...". out of habit, i scan the study areas looking for familiar faces despite the fact that almost all of them have moved away. i expect to run into peter somewhere around here because that's just what used to happen.

i never really liked studying at the library. it was too boring, quiet, usually cold, and not a beautiful place. but i think there's a part of it that feels like home to me. i've thought a lot of thoughts in this place, drank a lot of tea and coffee, taken off my shoes here (because it's just easier to study without shoes on), tried to laugh quietly, given and gotten a lot of hugs, taken naps in this place, and even cried here. i never thought i would say that the calvin library is a beautiful place, but today i think that it is.